About Toxictears : im pretty outgoing..like to party..addicted to tatts..
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Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15667) - you deserved it (3164)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22170) - you deserved it (22002)
On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (36542)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (1586)
On 07/24/2012 at 4:25pm - misc - by Gremlinswife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (167)
On 07/24/2012 at 6:26am - misc - by mightymart - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (2355)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:42am - love - by confusedbutloved (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15630)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (1868)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14672) - you deserved it (1276)
On 04/08/2012 at 6:55am - health - by GPemTGM (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (1125)
On 03/27/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by takhay (man) - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5886) - you deserved it (17735)
On 02/26/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by Larentiah (woman) - United States
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (1684)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (4292)
On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (2619)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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