About Toxictears : outgoing..like to party..addicted to tatts..
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Toxictears's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work
by Badkitty14 / 08/09/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by MsConfusedd / 08/09/2012 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 7:39am / United States (Texas) / Love
by rxcrs3 / 08/09/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by FutureMarine3658 / 08/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
by MellyBee / 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…