Toxictears

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 9:07pm)

Toxictears

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 July 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1259
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Toxictears : outgoing..like to party..addicted to tatts..

Toxictears's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:59pm<b>tjg8885</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:42am<b>dno79</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 12:18pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 9:02pm<b>luvkink</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:50am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:18am<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 8:55am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:41pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:53pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:32pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:12pm<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:26am<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:23am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:51pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 2:25pm<b>MissCobra</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 3:01am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Theokholes</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:40pm

Fucked!<b>dno79</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 6:19pm<b>luvkink</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:51am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:52am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:50pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:19pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:24am

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Toxictears's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

by Electro / 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

by Rusty / 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

by jaivolétonnez / 06/17/2015 at 1:54am / Transportation

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

by smalltownkid / 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

by shira512 / 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids