About ToxicFuel : I said my life "hasn't been F-ed up so much yet". Ok,some years passed and now I'm officially saying: FML!
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82055) - you deserved it (4960)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11275) - you deserved it (65392)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55284) - you deserved it (2341)
On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (41629)
On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62405) - you deserved it (6823)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by Person (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39690) - you deserved it (6403)
On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (4996)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (350337)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53235) - you deserved it (417688)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (484729)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208388) - you deserved it (35370)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460317) - you deserved it (571924)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (382262)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53207) - you deserved it (584818)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (987840) - you deserved it (78573)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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