ToxicFuel

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ToxicFuel

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 May 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ToxicFuel : Crazy collector

ToxicFuel's page activity

Visits<b>noah_1234</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Zarippa</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:19pm<b>kitty_frozen</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:22pm<b>parism143</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:17am<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:55pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 8:14pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:36pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 5:23pm<b>10000th</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:49pm<b>UnclamiedPants</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:58am<b>XTheDesertSongX</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:33am<b>grafeety</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:16am<b>ptoka</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:44am<b>EmberFury</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 1:59am<b>jcrb</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 11:29pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 6:24am<b>racerapj</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 8:03am<b>Prospekt_March</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 1:24pm

ToxicFuel's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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ToxicFuel's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

by Sarah / 01/01/2013 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

by WasZumTeufel? / 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

by offtothejobcentre / 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

by shaving kit / 12/31/2012 at 5:17am / Work

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy