About ToxicFuel : Crazy collector
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ToxicFuel's favorite FMLs
by tftm / 01/05/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Kids
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
by but i make different stiffies / 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by marisa / 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love
by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
by damn / 01/04/2013 at 9:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
by idiot / 01/04/2013 at 5:13am / Sweden / Health
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Tiffosaur / 01/04/2013 at 1:12am / United States / Love
by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Tooyoungforthis / 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML
by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- Today, I was talking about Star Wars with some of my friends. When they started talking about how… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the…