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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Torunn's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
by why... / 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML
by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
by RingAroundThe..SPLAT / 05/16/2012 at 12:10am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML
by penguindude82 / 05/06/2012 at 3:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML
by MissMae93 / 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm / United States / Health
Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
by Ashamed / 04/20/2012 at 3:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous