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Tooblonde

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Tooblonde

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  • Number of visits : 7398
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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Tooblonde's page activity

Visits<b>johnnynumnuts</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 6:12pm

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Tooblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59859) - you deserved it (7155)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (58595)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100280) - you deserved it (4978)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (5595)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (19927)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51792) - you deserved it (7035)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

#4477609
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (6275)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Lasko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (6976)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55135) - you deserved it (20417)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

#4468950
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45058) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (7161)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45615) - you deserved it (14473)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42355) - you deserved it (10913)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53573) - you deserved it (16156)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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