About TobyTheGod : Hi guys, I'm a god yeah and you might have worshipped me once or twice. I play guitar and other musical shit, I like fml in my spare time, of which there is plenty. Reading is cool and so is maths so suck on that. I spend most of my life sleeping, eating and playing guitar and then I'll die. Im game for a laugh, so message me!
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (13321)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19307) - you deserved it (3823)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (2923)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53662)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (4843)
Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17954) - you deserved it (3415)
On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (1781)
On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10273) - you deserved it (22450)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (1684)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6877) - you deserved it (32681)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (2623)
On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (2143)
On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (1760)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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