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TipOfTheHat's favorite FMLs
Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML
by tnh / 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML
by nyatzz / 11/16/2011 at 1:32am / United States (Florida) / Work
by dharp7 / 11/16/2011 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Love
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm / Ireland (Cork) / Animals
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Doggy... / 11/10/2011 at 12:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML
by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
by deviable / 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I'm pregnant. Despite severe nausea, and constant dizzy spells, my university won't consider… Today, I went to Walmart with a friend of mine to buy some chips and drinks. As we were leaving the… Today, at my factory job, one of the bosses came up to me and asked me where my earplugs were at.…