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Why am I up so early?
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TipOfTheHat's favorite FMLs
Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML
by tnh / 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML
by nyatzz / 11/16/2011 at 1:32am / United States (Florida) / Work
by dharp7 / 11/16/2011 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Love
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm / Ireland (Cork) / Animals
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Doggy... / 11/10/2011 at 12:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML
by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
by deviable / 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous