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TipOfTheHat's favorite FMLs
by toobad / 11/29/2011 at 2:29pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML
by MB / 11/28/2011 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
by good citizen / 11/27/2011 at 3:58am / United States / Love
by Clumsy & Forgetful / 11/27/2011 at 1:02am / Canada / Work
by jogger / 11/27/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 11:52am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
by Annon / 11/26/2011 at 6:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
by Help / 11/26/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime.… Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.… Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my…