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TipOfTheHat's favorite FMLs
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML
by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML
by Angelica / 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by MereLewis95 / 10/26/2011 at 4:58am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 3:41am / United States / Health
by insanitycalling / 10/26/2011 at 2:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by lonely / 10/24/2011 at 10:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by StromyG2 / 10/24/2011 at 10:54am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Texas) / Love
by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML