TimeDisposalEngi

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TimeDisposalEngi

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1852
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TimeDisposalEngi : As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

TimeDisposalEngi's page activity

Visits<b>GrantedTexas356</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:06pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:59pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 9:10pm<b>Exorcio</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:27pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:15am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:00am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:16am<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:11pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:16am<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:48pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:58am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:03am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:16pm<b>jguseman</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:31pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:22pm<b>technomaster</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:26am

Fucked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:22am

TimeDisposalEngi's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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TimeDisposalEngi's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous