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Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (56865)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54793) - you deserved it (6437)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220153) - you deserved it (27170)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (3725)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47804) - you deserved it (5839)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (8862)
On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125840) - you deserved it (9412)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53643) - you deserved it (15117)
On 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm - money - by california (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83392) - you deserved it (4520)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (2325)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (3216)
On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (228335) - you deserved it (38142)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (1398)
On 02/06/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Joey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (16811)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (5015)
On 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm - intimacy - by HeatoN - Germany (Berlin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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