Timbits93

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Timbits93

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3216
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Timbits93's page activity

Visits<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:10pm<b>autiger0612</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:28pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:20am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:18am<b>Impelido86</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Standoff</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 4:00pm<b>Haydn202020</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 4:26pm<b>wantsomejewinu</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 10:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:20pm

Timbits93's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Timbits93's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

by suckstobeme / 04/16/2009 at 2:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

by mjohnston / 03/27/2009 at 10:47am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

by california / 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

by hlev24 / 03/03/2009 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

by jons / 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

by Noname / 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML

by Joey / 02/06/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

by foo / 02/01/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

by HeatoN / 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm / Germany (Berlin) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

by HeatoN / 12/21/2008 at 8:44pm / Germany (Berlin) / Intimacy