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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (17030) - you deserved it (2693)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (5061)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (67494) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (48849) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029 (327)

I agree, your life sucks (57852) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

#2122739 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (54216) - you deserved it (4021)

On 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by disaster... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (49648)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

#2097800 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (6640)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - animals - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (71267)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (5964)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (53563) - you deserved it (5923)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (71615) - you deserved it (13643)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97746)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (49950) - you deserved it (17806)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)