Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThorneCrossed

Search for a member

ThorneCrossed
  • Town/Country : J town, USA! USA! USA!
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1061
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ThorneCrossed : I love Bethesda. Fallout and Elder Scroll. Skyrim is the most legit game ever. Music-Woodkid, most choral music, Metallica, Avett Brothers, Foo Fighters, Lana Del Ray, BFMV, Atreyu, Eminem, Chevelle, etc. I have xbox live, so friend me if you want. My gamertag is ThorneCrossed

ThorneCrossed's last visitors

Mornaievilamoebaattackkumarinaalexmac222missAlsaThursdayxotannaraxs4ucamsterjoe

ThorneCrossed's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of ThorneCrossed's badges

ThorneCrossed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (9775)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (8909)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (7780)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (21327)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

#16851241
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (3230)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by muddygal (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (4571)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML

#16847494
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (2644)

On 06/25/2011 at 8:58am - health - by Live02Dance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (6187)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

#16820991
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/23/2011 at 6:30pm - kids - by Monroe - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

#16800264
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (4780)

On 06/22/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by my ears are dying - United States

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (2809)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: