ThorneCrossed

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Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 9:05am)

ThorneCrossed

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2487
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ThorneCrossed : I love Bethesda. Fallout and Elder Scroll. Skyrim is the most legit game ever. Music-Woodkid, most choral music, Metallica, Avett Brothers, Foo Fighters, Lana Del Ray, BFMV, Atreyu, Eminem, Chevelle, etc.

ThorneCrossed's page activity

Visits<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 1:59am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 10:04am<b>Ifuckedthefeartu</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 4:32pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:49pm<b>IStillGot1</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:10pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:42pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:04pm<b>mercyismynamee</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:04pm<b>pleasedie</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:28pm<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:09pm<b>memtselfandI33</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:46pm<b>CoolFootSnook</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:50pm<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:30pm<b>quickit</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:06pm<b>taylamoore</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:02pm<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:44pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:43pm<b>brando1983</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:10am

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ThorneCrossed's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 7:56am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

by DJ / 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous