About ThorneCrossed : I love Bethesda. Fallout and Elder Scroll. Skyrim is the most legit game ever. Music-Woodkid, most choral music, Metallica, Avett Brothers, Foo Fighters, Lana Del Ray, BFMV, Atreyu, Eminem, Chevelle, etc.
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ThorneCrossed's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML
by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 7:56am / United States / Animals
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love
by DJ / 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split… Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to… Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…