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Thedudester09

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Thedudester09

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  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thedudester09's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (3026)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (2428)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (23392)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (1822)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11866) - you deserved it (41260)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (4399)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (7714)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (5256)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (2806)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

#17555427
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (4902)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:30am - health - by Lorus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (14502)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



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