Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About TheSuperSpicer : I'm not here to become a top fml commenter. I don't care if you thumbs down the comments either. I'm here to share an opinion or make a joke here and there. If you don't like it that's fine. It won't hurt me one single bit, because I don't know you, nor will I ever know you. Now that i've settled that, I'm a rather short person. 4'8" to be precise. Spicer is my last name. I know, pretty awesome. I'm with the most incredible guy, sorry girls, you'll have to settle for second best. I'm terrible at math, good at writing, I love animals, and that's all you need to know. I'm always on the app so don't message unless you don't mind waiting for a LONG TIME.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Friday 30 January 2015