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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheStarsandMoon

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TheStarsandMoon
  • Town/Country : Westminster, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheStarsandMoon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (5762) - you deserved it (12260)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (20003) - you deserved it (2109)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work and talking to my boss. Out of habit, I tried to adjust my bra strap and pull it up. My hand slipped off the strap and I punched myself in the face resulting in a fat lip. My boss snorted. He told everyone. FML

#8389533 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (6431)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:18pm - work - by E (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (1617)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (1391)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5815) - you deserved it (23298)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (19080) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (15141) - you deserved it (5792)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was at youth group. My foot had unknowingly fallen asleep, and as I got up to leave early, I spontaneously did a face plant in front of thirty other adolescents. Because my foot was still asleep, I had to bask in the embarrassment on the floor until my foot regained composure. FML

#7107635 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (2915)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Fml1552 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (11978)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5184) - you deserved it (39126)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (3107)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)