About TheSithAssassin : I'm a graduate at GT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. If you want to know anything more about me just message me.
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Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (2743)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (34917)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (36499)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (83470)
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (3928)
On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10346) - you deserved it (36054)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (1760)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (27607)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460981) - you deserved it (572691)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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