About TheSithAssassin : I'm a graduate at GT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. If you want to know anything more about me just message me.
TheSithAssassin's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
TheSithAssassin's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by BackToRehab / 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…