TheSithAssassin

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 8:26pm)

TheSithAssassin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2865
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheSithAssassin : I'm a graduate at GT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. If you want to know anything more about me just message me.

TheSithAssassin's page activity

Visits<b>mondesno</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:09am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:40pm<b>mizzles</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:12pm<b>j_js182</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:38pm<b>KrispyKreme_92</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:28am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:35am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:54am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:45pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:57pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:26am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:54am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:21am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:21pm<b>jimy933</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:37pm<b>StzaCrack666</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Baucis</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:58pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:27am

TheSithAssassin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of TheSithAssassin's badges

TheSithAssassin's favorite FMLs

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

by BackToRehab / 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy