Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheSithAssassin

Search for a member

TheSithAssassin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 August 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1429
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheSithAssassin : I'm a graduate at GT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. If you want to know anything more about me just message me.

TheSithAssassin's page activity

Visits<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:44pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:57pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:26am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:54am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:21am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:21pm<b>jimy933</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:37pm<b>StzaCrack666</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Baucis</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:58pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:27am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:31am<b>ImTheRealBatman</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:32am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:34pm<b>katelyn87</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>LunaticLoki</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 2:45pm<b>Thatgirl299</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:09pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:32am

TheSithAssassin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of TheSithAssassin's badges

TheSithAssassin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (33542)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (73951)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (45615)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46691) - you deserved it (13854)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

#15621485
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52480) - you deserved it (4110)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36137) - you deserved it (14021)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15341) - you deserved it (24597)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105739) - you deserved it (7452)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49294) - you deserved it (5844)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (7651)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (9422)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69009) - you deserved it (9539)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (69061)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54379) - you deserved it (27339)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: