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TheSithAssassin

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TheSithAssassin
  • Town/Country : Whittier, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 August 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1239
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheSithAssassin : I'm a graduate at GT majoring in Aerospace Engineering. If you want to know anything more about me just message me.

TheSithAssassin's last visitors

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TheSithAssassin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of TheSithAssassin's badges

TheSithAssassin's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (44270)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (13065)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

#15621485
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (4012)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33541) - you deserved it (13330)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12373) - you deserved it (18344)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97936) - you deserved it (6726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (5511)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (7318)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (7713)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66898) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (67003)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52802) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

#15501357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (9976)

On 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67714) - you deserved it (14661)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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