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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (51640)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (5987)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97318) - you deserved it (56328)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12457) - you deserved it (48138)
On 06/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by Sims3luver (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73215) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11704) - you deserved it (67628)
On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)
Today, I wanted to print out a 100 page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this I picked a time where I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (51650)
On 06/04/2009 at 5:14pm - work - by Ayeya (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother in law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother in law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60028) - you deserved it (2133)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (1410)
On 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kilo1_13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14086) - you deserved it (46497)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (109305)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48511) - you deserved it (33448)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (1647)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68475) - you deserved it (2527)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54200) - you deserved it (3884)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Friday 24 May 2013
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