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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (6297)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53807) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45316) - you deserved it (3732)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (4740)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (1983)
On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29982) - you deserved it (1275)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (4349)
On 08/20/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by GroosedOut (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (1987)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (5371)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (7008)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (16626)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45635) - you deserved it (5480)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (4154)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55911) - you deserved it (2952)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78467) - you deserved it (18449)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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