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ThePhantomGamer's favorite FMLs
Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML
by illinformed / 11/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my friend and I drove three hours to attend a U2 concert. We had been psyched about the tickets for weeks because they were awesome seats (my early Christmas present). After a long drive, we get to the venue and I realize in horror that I left tickets at home, on my desk, three hours away. FML
by sostupid / 10/10/2009 at 3:22pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
by AreYouSerious / 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
by embarassed_chick / 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by doomed / 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by ostfae / 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by GroosedOut / 08/20/2009 at 8:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML
by TrophyGirlfriend / 08/17/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by irony / 08/16/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
by notguilty / 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed… Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of… Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The…