About TheMasticater : I'm a 16 year old boy who loves music, sports, and people! Hit me up! :)
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TheMasticater's favorite FMLs
by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML
by tired / 08/01/2011 at 4:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Norah / 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
by Username / 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Stacy Dee / 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
by Kurochrome / 07/18/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…