TheMasticater

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TheMasticater

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1456
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheMasticater : I'm a 16 year old boy who loves music, sports, and people! Hit me up! :)

TheMasticater's page activity

Visits<b>warsun</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:54pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:15pm<b>DesDesMooree</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:35pm<b>chromesaurus</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:41pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:32am<b>jenamalone</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:11am<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:19pm<b>fk18</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:40pm<b>pumpkinpii</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 8:12pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:19pm<b>umhitherr</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:13pm<b>Darren22</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 4:42pm<b>rosemary129</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Fruitmonster2</b> - the 12/16/2012 at 11:52am<b>alaskankid907</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 2:29am<b>iloveeyouuxD</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:11pm<b>aardvarkish</b> - the 11/08/2011 at 7:32pm<b>strength413</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 2:33am

TheMasticater's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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TheMasticater's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

by tired / 08/01/2011 at 4:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

by Norah / 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

by Username / 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

by Stacy Dee / 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

by Kurochrome / 07/18/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous