Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheLoneWolf

Search for a member

TheLoneWolf
  • Town/Country : A city in Massachusetts
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 June 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2615
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TheLoneWolf : Just make me laugh. I've got a great sense of humor, and chances are that my sense of humor can make you laugh too. (Just look at my favorite FMLs.)

TheLoneWolf's last visitors

Freezesnoopy24MissBunnyfufublackdogDarkMirrorhad_a_bad_dayAnneFTWGabrielEasy_Target

TheLoneWolf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TheLoneWolf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68572) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (202261)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (82788)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

#2002110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (11261)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69087) - you deserved it (7815)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (19536)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028
639 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48024) - you deserved it (28180)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

#1145321
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71856) - you deserved it (6656)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48545) - you deserved it (17267)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79049) - you deserved it (7745)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655284) - you deserved it (48793)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: