Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About TheJashinist : "Insanity is... Doing the exact... Same fucking thing, over and over and over again. Expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy."
- Vaas Montenegro
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
2day my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping , she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny , causing a lot of people to stare in our drection. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter!! I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do u have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing!! FML
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, an running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw an laughed. FML
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, an yelld quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensud. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
Today, ma friend told me tat semen was inflammable. Later at nigt I jacked off into a sock and ten, excitedly, tried to lit te sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very muc inflammable. Naked, I sook ma sock in te air so it looool would extinguis wile ma semen splased out all over ma room. mega FML
Today... I was working as a managar of tha local movia thaatar. This six yaar old cama in with no parants or anyona alsa. Whan I askad himhara his parants wara ha lookad at ma an said... "Shut uphita boy... I don't hava to listan to yur shit." I just got told by a six yaar old. maga FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML
Friday 27 March 2015