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TheIllitQemist

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TheIllitQemist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1468
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheIllitQemist : Wooooooooooow :OOOOOOO

TheIllitQemist's page activity

Visits<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:07am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:49am<b>blayzie420</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:14pm<b>brett1506</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:16am<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 7:53pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:33pm<b>qwillis98</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:22am

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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TheIllitQemist's favorite FMLs

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

#20604478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51398) - you deserved it (3993)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47179) - you deserved it (9136)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (46346)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (3485)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (5214)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (4164)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54980) - you deserved it (4671)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49796) - you deserved it (8172)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57477) - you deserved it (5588)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65649) - you deserved it (12613)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46685) - you deserved it (8878)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57770) - you deserved it (4746)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68963) - you deserved it (12153)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67334) - you deserved it (7155)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML



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