TheIllitQemist

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TheIllitQemist

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheIllitQemist : Wooooooooooow :OOOOOOO

TheIllitQemist's page activity

Visits<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:07am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:49am<b>blayzie420</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:14pm<b>brett1506</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:16am<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 7:53pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:33pm<b>qwillis98</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:22am

TheIllitQemist's FML badges

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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TheIllitQemist's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 11:49am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 7:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm / United States / Love

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

by 'creep' / 04/22/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

by Magicali / 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm / Kuwait (Al Kuwayt) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous