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TheIllitQemist

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TheIllitQemist
  • Town/Country : Memphis, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheIllitQemist : Wooooooooooow :OOOOOOO

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TheIllitQemist's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of TheIllitQemist's badges

TheIllitQemist's favorite FMLs

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (4523)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (3528)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48673) - you deserved it (3778)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43926) - you deserved it (7045)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (4714)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (9749)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41839) - you deserved it (7834)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51907) - you deserved it (4035)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56091) - you deserved it (9425)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59893) - you deserved it (6186)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

#20591958
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (3563)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (4752)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (3246)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States



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