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TheIllitQemist

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TheIllitQemist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2049
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheIllitQemist : Wooooooooooow :OOOOOOO

TheIllitQemist's page activity

Visits<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:07am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:49am<b>blayzie420</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:14pm<b>brett1506</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:16am<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:39pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:51pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 7:53pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:33pm<b>qwillis98</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:22am

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

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TheIllitQemist's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69995) - you deserved it (7862)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49344) - you deserved it (2288)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (69232)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52301) - you deserved it (4408)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (41742)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57218) - you deserved it (14986)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (8396)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51785) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56630) - you deserved it (5236)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47792) - you deserved it (12079)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (34887)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (3183)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81289) - you deserved it (4207)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States



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