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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheHMan

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TheHMan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheHMan's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (39152) - you deserved it (13861)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (5016)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

#3258248 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (1944)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by bloodynose (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (7770)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

#3234179 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

#3199302 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (65730) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137064) - you deserved it (19618)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (3358)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

#3130305 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (42635) - you deserved it (7142)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (4630)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

#3078686 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (2446)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

#3074596 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (11477)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)