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TheGothGamerGirl's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
by goodbyefriend / 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…