Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 7:53pm) | Search for a member
About TheFuckerofShit : Well, I'm kind of lazy and clumsy (unless I'm on coffee, lol), and a bit shy at first, then I'm a (good) monster once someone gets to know me. I love Heavy Metal music, more specifically Thrash Metal. Older music is something I enjoy also, such as Classic Rock or the Blues. I tend to be more level headed and sane than most of my friends. I love sitcoms and some older cartoons, too. My hobbies are playing games (Doom, Flight Simulator, BF3, CoD, GTA: SA, old NFSs, etc.), watching my favorite TV shows, eating delicious food, and sleeping.
I barely ever comment on FMLs since my thoughts wouldn't add much to the comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Friday 22 May 2015