Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 7:53pm) | Search for a member
About TheFuckerofShit : Well, I'm kind of lazy and clumsy (unless I'm on coffee, lol), and a bit shy at first, then I'm a (good) monster once someone gets to know me. I love Heavy Metal music, more specifically Thrash Metal. Older music is something I enjoy also, such as Classic Rock or the Blues. I tend to be more level headed and sane than most of my friends. I love sitcoms and some older cartoons, too. My hobbies are playing games (Doom, Flight Simulator, BF3, CoD, GTA: SA, old NFSs, etc.), watching my favorite TV shows, eating delicious food, and sleeping.
I barely ever comment on FMLs since my thoughts wouldn't add much to the comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
Friday 27 February 2015