Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheFuckerofShit

Search for a member

TheFuckerofShit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3560
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About TheFuckerofShit : Well, I'm kind of lazy and clumsy (unless I'm on coffee, lol), and a bit shy at first, then I'm a (good) monster once someone gets to know me. I love Heavy Metal music, more specifically Thrash Metal. Older music is something I enjoy also, such as Classic Rock or the Blues. I tend to be more level headed and sane than most of my friends. I love sitcoms and some older cartoons, too. My hobbies are playing games (Doom, Flight Simulator, BF3, CoD, GTA: SA, old NFSs, etc.), watching my favorite TV shows, eating delicious food, and sleeping.

I barely ever comment on FMLs since my thoughts wouldn't add much to the comments.

TheFuckerofShit's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:59am<b>swick25</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:13pm<b>foog19</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:05am<b>sleeplessjimmy</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 9:52pm<b>CaptFappingtons</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:50pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 6:33pm<b>pootispancakeman</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 11:58pm<b>DeafGirl124</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:53pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:38pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 9:03pm<b>iheartLA</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:01am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:43am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 7:46pm<b>Naivx00</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 1:51am<b>naners_clark</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 6:54pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 12:20am<b>MikeM27</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:36pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 7:36pm

TheFuckerofShit's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheFuckerofShit's badges

TheFuckerofShit's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (4491)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (5712)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (9123)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (1714)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (14535)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you deserved it (27232)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (1447)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18030) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8723) - you deserved it (28382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17633) - you deserved it (7147)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (1312)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: