About TheEpicator : What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
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Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (12198)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40874) - you deserved it (6294)
On 05/03/2009 at 4:37am - health - by bananayellowteeth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (79824) - you deserved it (6015)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10666) - you deserved it (40413)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by biologyfailure. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36910) - you deserved it (21024)
On 04/07/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (58012)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (52941)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47449) - you deserved it (10138)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (14797)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (41583)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - love - by Not so quick getaway. (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47481) - you deserved it (10668)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by authentic (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (22862)
On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (22308)
On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (1412)
On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14471) - you deserved it (1283)
On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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