About TheEpicator : What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
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TheEpicator's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
by bananayellowteeth / 05/03/2009 at 4:37am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML
by AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks / 04/07/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML
by birthdaygirl / 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML
by Not so quick getaway. / 02/28/2009 at 2:55am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by authentic / 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by abbyleigh08 / 02/17/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sillybrohos / 02/15/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Dr. Jack / 02/04/2009 at 8:54am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
by sigh / 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…