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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheCupcakeNinja

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TheCupcakeNinja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10295
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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TheCupcakeNinja's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40592) - you deserved it (11984)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (15508)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (3403)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (1678)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (41060) - you deserved it (2403)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (5131)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

#4477609 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (4689)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Lasko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (14855)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (924) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, "Liked" this. FML

#4443925 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (14912)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

#4434062 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (56112) - you deserved it (20527)

On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (50867) - you deserved it (6109)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59781) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)