About TheComputerGuy96 : In the desert you can remember your name.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (52947)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (65198)
On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (102059)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (63825)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353067) - you deserved it (66619)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (35687)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55296) - you deserved it (215611)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (85936)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (49873)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (13328)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9908) - you deserved it (35723)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (34405)
On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177153) - you deserved it (7208)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3507) - you deserved it (26813)
On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version
Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4991) - you deserved it (20561)
On 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by takeiteasy - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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