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TheComputerGuy96

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TheComputerGuy96
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2817
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

About TheComputerGuy96 : In the desert you can remember your name.

TheComputerGuy96's last visitors

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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TheComputerGuy96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

#4577302
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (54646)

On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (76075)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12886) - you deserved it (39690)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (20349)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (2895)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66605) - you deserved it (6614)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

#3899297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (9041)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39293) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (19623)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (3076)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

#3102076
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (56272)

On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59835) - you deserved it (4008)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113688) - you deserved it (71756)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

#2710099
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51893) - you deserved it (5816)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:05am - love - by aasatt22 - United States (California)



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