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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101
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  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92787) - you deserved it (5267)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

#11718705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (3576)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

#10906033
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (51604)

On 06/01/2010 at 11:59am - misc - by Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

#8971498
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (1753)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5826) - you deserved it (67879)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7593) - you deserved it (35703)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (18491)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40313) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37928) - you deserved it (2174)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (29504)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (1839)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)



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