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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101
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  • Number of visits : 760
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57435) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35744) - you deserved it (9491)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (6673)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (2981)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

#14297288
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (4725)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (19255)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (12239)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35234) - you deserved it (6548)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

#13641335
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (5798)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (29964)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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