Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheChosenOne101

Search for a member

TheChosenOne101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheChosenOne101's page activity

Visits<b>diego101g</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:35am<b>nemo88</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 11:06pm

TheChosenOne101's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of TheChosenOne101's badges

TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (8935)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (15113)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (2048)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (4474)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41401) - you deserved it (2868)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

#17507897
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25588) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

#17067596
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (47116)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm - money - by brokeaf - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
466 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (16577)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (15607)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (51855)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (57537)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: