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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101

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  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheChosenOne101's page activity

Visits<b>diego101g</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:35am<b>nemo88</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 11:06pm

TheChosenOne101's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (1643)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5221) - you deserved it (42377)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47070) - you deserved it (4367)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (6412)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (12171)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (6876)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13405) - you deserved it (49420)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12220) - you deserved it (27276)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (3873)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (4196)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16424) - you deserved it (52496)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)



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