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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101

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  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheChosenOne101's page activity

Visits<b>diego101g</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:35am<b>nemo88</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 11:06pm

TheChosenOne101's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (2328)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (4112)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (2985)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32418) - you deserved it (2019)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

#19913768
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16341) - you deserved it (20695)

On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (3542)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (3567)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (2251)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (5956)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (1598)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8869) - you deserved it (27300)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (2599)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (3055)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (3055)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML



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