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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101
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  • Number of visits : 254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15258) - you deserved it (1631)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15788) - you deserved it (1744)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11798) - you deserved it (1328)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7947) - you deserved it (27195)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (1322)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (1383)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30123) - you deserved it (6961)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (6289)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (2214)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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