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TheChosenOne101

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TheChosenOne101

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  • Number of visits : 1095
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>diego101g</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:35am<b>nemo88</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 11:06pm

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TheChosenOne101's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (692936) - you deserved it (55751)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

#740213
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19345) - you deserved it (73585)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63236) - you deserved it (9371)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (650208) - you deserved it (437832)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
995 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70750) - you deserved it (734042)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17120) - you deserved it (55720)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10283) - you deserved it (120714)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10283) - you deserved it (120714)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (7568)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (7661)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

#1678
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (11251)

On 01/18/2009 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by gjh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14643) - you deserved it (7916)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version



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