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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (2053)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (2542)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5597) - you deserved it (26972)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6715) - you deserved it (49232)
On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1713)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (4418)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (2926)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (1620)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (4610)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4411) - you deserved it (19676)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (1134)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (2171)
On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (783)
On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6783) - you deserved it (37005)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (3811)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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