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About TheCandyHater : Just some random blonde fangirling over the internet.
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TODAY, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR. AFTER WAITING IN ANTICIPATION, I TOOK A SHOWER TO RINSE OUT THE DYE AND REVEAL MY NEW, BLUE HAIR. RINSING REVEALED NOT ONLY BLUE HAIR, BUT BLUE SKIN CAUSED BY THE WATERED DYE RUNNING OVER MY BODY. I NOW LOOK LIKE A SMURF, AND IT'S NOT COMING OUT. FML
while getting intimate with looool my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She hered the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
TODAY , MY ROOMMATE AN I NOTICD A FOUL SMELL IN OUR APARTMENT. AFTER LOOKING AROUND 4 A LITTLEHILE , I FOUND THAT HER CAT HAD POOPD ON A PAIR OF MY JEANS , AN APPARENTLY TRID TO COVER IT UP BY DRAGGING A SHIRT OVER THE MESS. FML
2day I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weater for my bus !! Wen it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on te icy ground !! Te driver waited a wole 2 seconds before snorting, ( Ain't nobody got time for tis sit ), closing te doors, and driving off !! FML
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interestd in 4 some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's pickd up an STD from unprotectd sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Today, I told my dad an brothar that I want to taka Zumba classas . My brothar said, "Did you haar that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Than ha starting dancing an making pig noisas . My dad high-fivad him . Whan my mom haard, sha high-fivad him too . fat FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I movd around a little, so mah date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassd, giving me a reassuring look. fat FML
Today, I want to mah friand's housa 4 tha frst tima. As I was pulling up, I calld him and askd him if I could usa his bathroom. Ha told ma to just go in tha back and usa it, so i did. As i'm sitting on tha toilat, somaona knocks on tha door and asks maho I am. It wasn't mah friand's housa. FML
Friday 27 March 2015