I'm 25, unemployed, living with my parents, still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me, a virgin, obese, got diabetes and scoliosis, and an Aspie.
FML?
(_) I agree, your life sucks
(_) You totally deserved it
Feel like contacting me?
jay_sherman@hotmail.com is both my e-mail address and my MSN contact. Apparently they've added FML messaging so you can contact me there, too.
Also, I've got my own online channel for, well, whatever I feel like. Video games, movies, TV shows, whatever: http://thebigdawg.webs.com/stream/index.html
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you totally deserved it (7444)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls", his response, "We don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9568) - you totally deserved it (47270)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29023) - you totally deserved it (16038) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you totally deserved it (9117) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was driving my car with expired tags to work. Because I was on the phone I almost missed my turn. So when I made a wide right turn I swiped a cop car sitting at the intersection. I was given a ticket, my car was towed and the cop thanked me for helping him make his monthly quota. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4947) - you totally deserved it (48862)
On 07/29/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by tatilalicious - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you totally deserved it (5042)
On 07/24/2009 at 12:18am - love - by masterofblues (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you totally deserved it (6396)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you totally deserved it (11054)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48136) - you totally deserved it (4591)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (60325) - you totally deserved it (7801)
On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100960) - you totally deserved it (20772)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by CrimsonHills (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4571) - you totally deserved it (30276)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you totally deserved it (2822)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146171) - you totally deserved it (10704)
On 01/31/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by iloveapples - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait...That wasn't a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8698) - you totally deserved it (1718)
On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)
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