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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TheBigDawg

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TheBigDawg
  • Town/Country : Cherry Hill, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 58954
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TheBigDawg : I'm 27, unemployed, living with my parents, still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me, a virgin, obese, got diabetes and scoliosis, and an Aspie.

FML?
(_) I agree, your life sucks
(_) You totally deserved it

Feel like contacting me?
jay_sherman@hotmail.com is both my e-mail address and my MSN contact. Apparently they've added FML messaging so you can contact me there, too.

Also, I've got my own online channel for, well, whatever I feel like. Video games, movies, TV shows, whatever: http://thebigdawg.webs.com/stream/index.html

TheBigDawg's last visitors

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TheBigDawg's FML badges

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Beginner

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of TheBigDawg's badges

TheBigDawg's favorite FMLs

Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML

#15587830 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (2990)

On 04/01/2011 at 10:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

#15577647 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/31/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (18026)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML

#15550732 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (8716)

On 03/29/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (3533)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

#15508713 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (3183)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:10am - misc - by leeseyxoxo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (41102)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50093) - you deserved it (9422)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (19301)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (46474) - you deserved it (12640)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was driving my car with expired tags to work. Because I was on the phone I almost missed my turn. So when I made a wide right turn I swiped a cop car sitting at the intersection. I was given a ticket, my car was towed and the cop thanked me for helping him make his monthly quota. FML

#4130274 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (6105) - you deserved it (56884)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by tatilalicious - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML

#3994466 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (31207) - you deserved it (5762)

On 07/24/2009 at 12:18am - love - by masterofblues (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (7305)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (16632)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (60696) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)