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TheAbstract

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TheAbstract
  • Town/Country : Fulton, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TheAbstract : Just another FML-er here to enjoy the misery of others. :D

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TheAbstract's favorite FMLs

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (4553)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (37664)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58729) - you deserved it (6757)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (2710)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68514) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (16689)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39541) - you deserved it (7866)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (14588)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (2551)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (4301)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53950) - you deserved it (7580)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (2456)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57586) - you deserved it (1857)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36626) - you deserved it (2348) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (1636)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)



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